An Apology

Sitting here today, I realized something.

I realized that you have never, ever called me stupid.

And I'm sorry.

Because I called you stupid twice today.

Sitting here today, I realized something.

I realized that you have never, ever demanded my attention

And I'm sorry

Because just today I tried to pull you away from your friends.

Sitting here today, I realized something.

I realized that you remember all of my favorites

And the offhand comments I make

And I'm sorry 

Because I can only remember your favorite color.

Sitting here today, I realized something.

I realized how crazy lucky I am to have someone like you

And I'm sorry

Because I haven't been half the girlfriend that I should be.

Because I'm selfish, and sometimes I only think about myself.

Because instead of dealing with my problems, I complain to you.

Because I've been using my own trauma as a weapon against you. 

And because I've only been looking at the things that you're not

instead of the incredible person you are.

And I'm sorry. 

I love you to the moon and the stars and back 

But it doesn't mean a damn thing if I keep treating you like I do.

So this is an apology.

A plea.

A promise. 

I will get better. 

I do believe in you. 

I love you more than anyone I've ever loved before. 

And I'm sorry. 

[R]