Approval needed

I live my life scared, fear is my leader, I never take chances so pride is my speaker I don't make decisions without thinking what will they think Will they approve or reject if I go ahead with this thing I'm scared of the judgment they place upon my actions, will I finally get yes or a decent reaction But not just a yes and comfortable surroundings, but an honest smile of approval not a laugh to cover the frowning Will u spread the word with mummbles of unhappiness Will the word travel back that I'm choosing the wrong path with this For the first time in my life tell me a lie make me believe I'm doing ok with my life Don't criticize my actions just leave me alone,your words of discouragement have my heart solid stone When I can't make a decision or can't seem to love, why can't I live with freedom, i'm a slave to where I've come from Ur the reason behind it, because I value ur opinion, instead of lifting me up u give me this unaccepted feeling Ur tear my dreams in two splitting my direction, u make me never want to tell u any of my intentions In reality this all boils down to me am I tired of wanting acceptance will I ever live for me I hope in the future I can learn to be my own person, I hope one day rebekahs approval will be more important