April 30th

I skipped Forensics yesterday.

I stood in front of the door, I couldn’t breathe, and I finally said “I can’t do this” and walked away.

My rock looked at me and said “I’ll beat him up. Just say the word and I’ll do it, I’m not kidding”.

But no, this wasn’t worth anyone’s time, but mostly, because even while I stood there falling to pieces,

I couldn’t do that to you.

But today was different.

I woke up today and my first thought was: “I can do this, of course I can”.

And the sun was shining, I was happy and I went to French.

I panicked for a second when you walked in, but I had my rock, and I made it through French today.

And I’ll make it through Forensics tomorrow, and I’ll make it because you’re just a boy.

And the world is full of boys.

But oh god, do I still love you.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

But you’re just another boy.

And I will live.