are you high?  these tears constantly keep my eyes red. my brain always tells me to get some rest bedhead. but i can’t, my bed is the wind that only comforts me when it’s hot. it’s only hot when my life isn’t the way it is. It’s only hot when my life is given happiness. happiness... is a choicebut if it were choice, the moon would give me a voice. A voice louder than the mountains and stronger than sea. of course this voice has to take me a way from the insanity. because only girls are suppose to care about vanitySociety tells us girls to heel up and keep your chin up. because we are going to blind folded by lies, raped by monsters and shut out by the rest. oh no wait. i can’t talk about rape because i ask for it. the someway i asked for you to poison my drink. the same i asked anxiety to be my shadow and follow me around for a bit. and by ‘a bit’ i mean for the rest of my life. but God forbid if i take pills for this. Mommy and daddy always told me it happens because i eat like a kid. A kid who cant tell the difference between salt and sugar. You are the salt that drains out the life out me. but you had a label glued to your actions that said sugar. I became addicted to “sugar” and it give me diabetes. but it’s not diabetes of course, it’s a soft spot for everyone. Anyone who calls my cute or pretty. Anyone who pretends to care about me let’s me get attached. the same a new born is attached to its mother. Except you’re not my mother. You’re the monster that killed my childhood. You’re the monster that never let me forget i’ll be enough.Because you’re the monster that haunts me.