The art of Hiding

She sits on the edge of her bed.
Inside, she feels so dead.
She has mastered the art of hiding.
Yet she is now tired of trying.
She is thinking maybe it should end.
Not the relationship, not the feelings,
But her own life
Maybe it is time for goodbye.

Her mobile pressed against her chest.
She rereads their recent messages and the rest.
Tears runs down to embrace her pillow.
Staring at the roof, she had so things to say.
Yet, she kept quite knowing it is not the time.
She loses herself in the silence of the night.

She stares at the dimly lit screen,
deciding whether to let it be seen.
The questions that stirs her heart,
The sorrow the engulfs her soul,
Should she let him witness them?
Should she leave him, alone and so glum…

“Has the darkness engulf you so much
that you can’t feel my pain nor my touch?
Have your demons already captured your mind
that you are unable to see me cry?
Has the despair and insecurity hit your senses so hard
that you no more see me pierced by this shard?”

She sighs, rolls back, as if turning her back to reality.
She wonders if this feeling would last for eternity.
Her soul shrouded in the darkness of the night,
She battles her own demons without him one more time.
The darkness of her heart has gained a little more of her mind,
as she takes the blade and bleeds a little more tonight.

She watches the drops sliding down her wrist.
Every day she takes this risk:
Of the scars being seen, of breaking down.
She has been holding on for so long.
She has been trying so hard all along.
It would be hard to explain the song of her mind.
So tomorrow, again she shall wear her best smile
and pretend to go on just fine….