Art Teacher

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They say that hatred is a fire
That eats at your insides
And it is
Along with jealousy and ambition
At times it seems I carry all of these
But I've learned to push down my anger
To be content with what I have
But I've never learned how to stop
How to stop striving for something more
And so I've longed
I've longed since I was five years old
While some dream of becoming famous
A rock star, astronaut, fireman, president
Leading the world, saving the world
Discovering the world, entertaining the world
I dreamed of becoming an artist
Of sharing the world with the world
And that ambtion has never died
I've chased it, and it's eaten away at me
I give it fuel to feed the fire and I get in kind
I've fed the fire
It burns within me
It's never been lost completely
Some days it's died down a little
Some days it's burned hotter than the sun
But it's never gone away
In the face of change
In the face of distance
In the face of feeling wrong
And having nothing but hand-me-downs
And stale crackers for dinner
I've had that fire, that ambition, that art
That dream
Though with the times it's changed
As I grew, it grew
As I developed, it developed
I could not chase away my ambition
And so I chased away this idea I had
This necessity to stay alone in my dream
For this fire has kept me warm and safe
It's kept me alive and thinking sane
Sheltered from the wilderness
But I'm alone in it, selfish
And so the dream has changed
I can still be an artist
I will always be an artist
But to share the dream is even better
To inspire in another a spark of interest
To help to fan that into a flame
I want to be an art teacher
So that I can share my warmth
The light and the fire and spark
Share my knowledge with others
Let our flames grow together
When we feel cold inside
We will always have that fire to keep us warm
Money is a problem, as it always is
Though I will chase the dream forever, no matter
As it will always chase me
It's so hard to run from
The forest fire of ambition
The forest fire of ambition        

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