Attainment

What scares me so much?

Sometimes, I don’t even know

I ask myself this question

Before I’m about to go-

Hide, leave, run from my fears.

Fears that I don’t even know how to describe.

Or even know what they are.

As I sit here,

Searching for an answer,

I realize there isn't one.

I hide behind my insecurities,

Which makes no sense!

I advertise what handicaps me,

For everyone to see.

Everyone -

Family, friends, co-workers, strangers.

I'm not sure which is worse -

Those that I know being able to see my weaknesses,

Or people I don't even know, pre-judging before they even have a chance to meet me.

I've been described as caring, loving, always around for those in need.

Always seeing the beautiful in people,

But hardly ever in myself. 

It takes someone else to point out the good in me,

Before I can see it.

It's like I was caught in a dense fog,

Not being able to see what was right in front of me.

But now, it is as clear as daylight

As to how important self-appreciation is.

Embracing all the things I love about myself

And what others see

Will be a great help

In showing the real me.

Start focusing on the positives

Working on the negatives

And a sense of relief will wash over me.

I don’t want to look back at all the things I never did

Because I was too worried about what others would think.

It’s time to take off the mask

And start living.

Start being me.