Atychiphobia

You were always there, whispering, 

The truth of reality 

And letting it echo in my mind. 

You sat on my shoulders,

The weight of a million what ifs.

Your feet dangling in the pit of my stomach 

And it felt like it was sinking.

You would have been the world’s greatest stalker,

But I knew you were there,

Always.

At work, 

              At home,

                             At school. 

I started to zone out your noise,

But lately you’ve been tugging, 

At my heart,

My soul, 

Begging me to listen once more, 

Pounding at the gates of my consciousness,

Wanting to be heard. 

No. 

Demanding to be heard.

                                         ‘You 

                                                Need 

                                                         Me' 

Am I going crazy? 

                             ‘It’s  

                                    Time’ 

For what? 

               ‘Exoneration’ 

‘Atychiphobia’ 

The fear of failure. 

I breath you in,

You burn my lungs,

Worse than cigarette smoke, 

Worse than fire.

You sit on my shoulders 

And dangle your feet in the pit of my stomach 

Unavoidable. 

Inevitable. 

You reside inside; 

A shadow that remains after the sun sets 

Persistent, 

My teacher, 

My enemy,

My destruction. 

Or are you?