The Audio Of My Darkness
The sound of excruciating back pain lingers through my mind like a melody I can't erase
Unfamiliar voices crowd my head with questions I can't seem to answer
The shackles that hold us together, tighten, with every needle pierced in my veins
Tighten with every teardrop that runs down my face
Terror whispers in my eardrums that she’ll keep me company
My body stiffens
No longer am I present under the blaring hospital lights
Darkness consumes my eyes
I can’t seem to put together my thoughts
I am no longer strong and courageous
I am overwhelmed with terror as she screams in my ears til they bleed
Blinded by pain he shakes my body senselessly
Til I can hear the oxygen extracting from my lungs
like my body meant nothing to him but an empty hollow space
“IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, RESPOND, BLINK, SAY SOMETHING”
I fall completely silent
For the words I was trying to say
You yank them fresh from my throat
You remind me that you’re the only constant thing in my life
You are my child that never grows old
I try to ignore you as much as possible but it never works
I fall quiet to your words
We are tied together
Forever
So I fall in
I let you control me
You convince me that this temple that I loved
Is no longer mine
“STOP, STOP RIGHT NOW”
I longed for the days me and you no longer have to share this temple you’ve broken
We learned to share this body you’ve consumed
But when others ask about you
You immediately shut me down
Instead of saying Sickle Cell is the reason
The reason I stay in bed til 12pm even though I went to bed at 6pm
The reason I refrain myself from having fun
Instead I fall quiet
For I often fear
The Audio of My Darkness
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