Austin

Austin,

Knowing you was bittersweet.

Though when you left I did not weep.

I knew it then, I lost my friend.

But you weren’t the reason I could not sleep.

She loved you with all her heart.

The day you left tore her apart.

I watched from the sidelines as she scorned herself.

For the fight you had just moments before.

What happened next wasn’t your fault.

But your death played an unfortunate part.

With not a clue what to do,

I watched as she withdrew.

She shut my mouth with words made of glue.

“I’m ok” she assured, though I knew she lied.

She said through a dream she got to say, “Goodbye”.

From then on nothing was the same.

Though you had no control, your absence is what I wanted to blame.

But I knew the truth, it wasn’t you.

But you became my elephant in the room.

She started changing.

And we stopped talking.

It didn’t take long before family became strangers.

Now you’re my reminder

Of the person I lost.

I’ve told no one about you.

And that came at a great cost.

Now every year,

As a cruel joke to me,

Your death is a reminder as to why I can’t sleep.

Knowing you was bittersweet.