Author's Muse

Didn’t know how to speak,

how to offer, how to tell—

‘Hey, this is me…’

Because it wasn’t accepted; it wasn’t the norm.

What she liked was the silence, the emptiness and hollow—

What they liked was the noise, the loudness, and chaos.

Tried to explain it once, put feeling to words.

Abstract fell flat, struck hard on concrete.

“Not me,” she laughs.  Not really—

“Just kidding.”

Didn’t understand, really couldn’t. 

Lives were too different all around.

One nod, one glance—none clicked;

all fell on an empty crowd.

Came down to it, all found the same.

Not that they’d see.  Not that she’d say.

Murmured hello, said some pleasantries.

No response, just vague looks, over and out.

She moved to a desk, sat down, paper blank.

“Not kidding,” she wrote.  “This is me.”