B is for Bisexual
Location
The single most used phrase I have heard in my life is
"Its just a phase"
From every single direction, I have been surrounded and I have been crucified by the phrase
"Its just a phase"
I have heard it so often that the closet is the only place I can go where that phrase won't come in, where it won't cut me like my razor on my nightstand
"Its just a phase"
Its fills my mind, permeates my relationships and keeps tallies on how many girls I kiss and how many boys I sleep with. A dirty scale teetering between gay and straight, always ready to collapse on me and mark me a whore.
How many dates with a boy does it take to make me straight? How many girls-only sleepovers does it take to make me gay again?
"Its just a phase"
Why does it matter to anyone around me? Why must you all try and label me as just confused or slutty when I been screaming for days that I just like both? When will anyone bother to just listen?
"Its just a phase"
This sentence is why my arms are lined with bruises and scars, why I cry myself to sleep and plug my ears with headphones to drone out the phrase. This sentence haunts me even as my friends accept me, always whispering;
"Its just a phase"
I have come to be known only by a letter that few even realize is a sexuality, The letter B is my scarlet letter that my father attaches to my clothes with double-sided tape because after all
"Its just a phase"
How could we have let this happen, we have propelled the letters of this alphabet soup out of sync, B and the letters behind mine are left in the dark while those whose sexuality is more clear-cut and defined are out in the spotlight fighting for the rights to disprove the phrase "It's just a phase."
But there are others words out there that pummel me down just the same
"Slutty"
"Confused"
"Greedy"
"Just a Myth"
And how can I possibly combat those with just a little B?