Back at it Again

Thank you for all the million moments I got to experience again with you.

I am so sorry that I couldn't make you happy again.

I lost myself there for a moment pleasing you. 

Now I am trying to go back to where I was a few months ago.

A split second. A new song. A new voice.

Here I am trying to relive in peace if possible.

I try and try again to make a difference and unfortunately it doesn't always go through.

I lost you once. 

I lost you twice.

Now you think I'll cry a third. 

It doesn't work that way.

I must let you go to be able to be happy truly.

If you were meant for me you wouldn't have me be a shell.

You wouldn't have me be a spirit of myself. 

I don't even look at the world the same. 

I wish you knew the damage.

The tears that fell the catastrophe you caused.

And, if you think again getting back together again would work.

I would clearly say no.

Why?

Because, the person whom I want to be with in the future.

Would be there even when times are tough even when I feel like giving up.

You do not control me!

You do not tell me what I want! 

I control me!

I chose whether I stay or go this time!

Stop thinking that the world is about you.

You can't have me everytime. I am not yours.

I am but a spec in a million trillion particulars that are trying to understand self-worth.