BACK TO THE PAST

My spirit doesn't care anymore. I suddenly want to break all the rules and make 

people mad. I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. I only see the bad, ugly forgetable

side of me. My longing for a connection is tapering off. I want to go back to what I'm 

used to: Being anorexic, only eating just enough to not have anyone supect then throw

it up because the toilets my friend, self-harming, drawing on my skin with a blade 

and re-opening them day by day, feeling so lost but not feeling anything at all

only trying to fix others issues, not caring about my own.

Now I care. And it's exhasting. I just want to fade in the back of the room. No one to 

talk to. No one caring. Just me and the guitar. Cause music is the only real me you'll 

ever see.