Backseat

day one

I spoke,

You blushed,

I hid,

You turned.

day twelve

I invited you over,

I hid my intentions, though they were innocent,

Maybe you had yours,

I teased, you laughed

You stared, I beamed

I'd heard rumors that I didn't want to believe

You softened the blow, but it still landed

I wanted to be selfish

day fourty-seven

You invited me over

We were perfect puzzle pieces

I knew I wanted you

You knew I did too

I leaned in

You pulled me more

I wasn't the best, but you taught me

Gave me wings, a tear fell

This was all brand new

day ninety-four

I learned more about you

You unrolled the tapestry

I felt your coarse edges

your smooth corners

your scarred surfaces

i knew we weren't as similar as i thought

but what do i know?

this is my first lap

it was your first mile

day one hundred and sixteen

i was happy

i am happy

because i love you

why should i complain, i have love

you have me

i didn't have you

the words finally escaped

my mouth, at least

they must've caught in yours, i hoped

they were coming eventually

i knew they were there

i knew

right?

day one hundred and nine

im no longer me

i love you, im yours

you took my sorrows

added you, and gave them back

im gone, im yours

and so is he

day two hundred and sixty one

i glanced

her smile froze

maybe, i think, maybe

she looked away

i felt nothing

you were there too

i'll try to love

if you would just tie me loose

i loved you until i didn't love myself

i lied, cheated, stole, hurt over and over and over again

i hope i forgive myself

for breaking my heart