A Backwards Journey of an Unforgiving Mind

(poems go here) The terror I feel and the emotion I have I cannot explain and there is no one to blame. My actions were wrong and my judgments are lost however I am not the boss. Let the truth be told I am not the bold for when I cry I do it to hide my lies because that’s the only way I’ve learned how to glide. My heart is a mess and the truth I speak only makes us reckless. No one can stand me I am not as tough, as I wish for in a hush. Some want to live and some want to die but I don’t know why I just feel I am a lie. Too deep to trust and too lust, I do have to say when you figure out I am tell me if it’s true because I have no room to hear another cry or an empty goodbye, my heart can’t take it and lonely nights is what will apply. The joys you want I cannot offer. The happiness you seek is not truly in me. It’s time you waste in search of who I am so do me favor and take time by the hand. I can only exist in this world if I become remiss in your mind let me hide behind your gift because I will only continue to dismiss your bliss if I am in your remembrance. I am unable to explain the pain I have gained in the tireless journey to be in fame. It’s not me you want, this illusion is just a game take my advice and get ahead before you are slain. You think this is a bluff I promise when you learn you’ll take a huff. I don’t find joy warning you like this but if you don’t take my counsel you will be shattered and missed. The clock doesn’t stop so don’t count my tick tocks. One by one the knocks will knock. I’m giving you the choice not to choose me because I am not what you view on TV. Listen to me now, I don’t want to see your pretty little face frown or upside down but if you continue to go there it is nowhere else you can flow. I’m sorry it’s like this, I did not intend for it to come with such unintelligence. It all makes sense as long as you are not a part of this madness. The moment you’re in it’s like a trap and you’re wrapped just like a pack. Don’t take the risk because I promise it’s not worth sniffs. If you dare continue on this unreliable journey don’t say I didn't warn you because I am not where you want to be.