The Ballad of a Lost Soul

I want so badly,

To let the tears fall.

To let their cleansing beauty wash over my broken features.

But how can one,

So strong,

So perfect,

Break the mask that encloses her true identity?

            Do I even remember the girl

            I so long ago abandoned?

            What has become of her stunning innocence?

            What has become of that picturesque cloud

            That her whole life seemed to float on?

            What would I do?

            What would I sacrifice?

            To once again feel

            The sweet serenity of weightlessness,

            To once again be on my own cloud,

            Swimming through a sky,

            Brimming with hopes and dreams.

            How can I find the girl

            I once was?

            I've looked for her,

            Sought out the lovely girl I once knew;

            But still, she evades me.

            I'm terrified of what could happen.

            Will my darkness envelope the blinding light of her purity?

            Will I ever be that girl again?

            Could the shattered remnants of my soul ever be pieced back together?

            Is there any way for that girl and me to once again merge?

            Is there any way for me to once again walk within that brilliant light?

            Is there any way for my pitifully cracked soul

            To once again rise to greatness?

            Could I once again bask in the radiant light I once knew to be my own?

            Will I ever be allowed

            To return to the glory of my former self,

            Or will I forever be banished,

            Destined to walk amongst the darkest shadows?

            Can this pathetically broken child ever be fixed?

            Who will help me obtain the freedom I so desperately seek?

            Who will be the one to pull me from the dark abyss?

            Is there anyone out there?

            Anyone strong enough?

            Anyone willing enough

            To drag me from the depths of oblivion?

            What if there is no one able to save my soul?

            Am I strong enough to mend myself,

            Or will this be my final goodbye?

            Will my sins condemn me

            To a life of pain,

            A life of suffering,

            A life that will never fulfill my distorted expectations?

            I pose a question,

As a child with a cracked soul,

Will I ever mend

My self-inflicted wounds?

Will I ever rise to greatness?

Or am I forever doomed,

Always reminded of my imperfections?

As a child with a cracked soul,

I can only attempt to keep my faulty pieces together.

Searching for someone to help me mend,

Hoping for the opportunity to rise again,

And dreaming that my fractured soul will not suffer

A fatal break.