bang

i cried out
“you shot me”
to the sound of my heart
that was thumping so loudly against my chest
as your eyes glared into mine
toxic green, poisonous leaves of a beautiful flower

you had etched a target
in blood and sharpie over my chest
before taking your aim
arrow piercing through
as i try to stitch myself back together
before i fall
a p a r t
all over you

but there is a symphony
of “i” and “love” and “you”
passing my lips now
taking suicidal leaps right off the tip of my tongue
and crawling into your ears

“too late, too late”
my mind is shouting
in a way that cannot outdrown the 
thump thump
of my hammering heart
breaking out of the rib cage
i trapped it in

ice cold
warming up
under your sunshine smile
and i try not to
really hard because you’re not mine
you’re his
i know it
you just said it
in a small “i’m sorry”
that you can never be mine
not really

(no
don’t
look at me
not like that
i can’t breathe)

i’m bleeding out
everything i ever tried to keep in
and my heart still hammering
dying wail now
as the gunpowder settles on your innocent hands
because you don’t even know what you did
what you do
to me