Baptism

I want to rip out my vocal chords and

bathe in the words that spill

out. I’ve sunk into the deep, never

even having the opportunity to float.

Water rushes in my ears when I’m

alone, little white lies, red lies, black

lies pour through me. I’m a waterfall,

a treacherous torrent, buyer beware.

I should have kissed him longer.

His name was Curiosity and trust me,

my destruction doused him, and

now I wrap it around me in warning.

My mother barely blinked when I said

personality disorder. She never knew

I was underwater despite my inborn

ability to swim, truly a trait from her.

I was born in the depths and have

been holding my breath ever since.

I’m watered down in sad desperation

but here I remain all the same.  

I need to stop drowning,

I need an excuse to swim.