Battled Curse

I've held you in for years and years. 5 maybe. 6 probably. Some have held longer. Some had them start younger. What do you do with this? Do you let it out? "No! I can't! I’m scared!"

Not that they'll hurt anyone

Not that you’re going to get hurt

It becomes real when you say it

You’re aware that you're a victim

You’re aware that this is trauma

"It's my fault! I shouldn't have done that! I should've made it more obvious I didn't want what was indicated! I should I have pushed! I should have...should have.... "

You start to cry

You have no idea what you could have done

Because no matter if you had of done what you wished.

The deed still will have happened

And you still be here asking yourself what you could have done to stop it.

 “But it's my fault! It has to be!"

The penetration and the screams

The blood and the tears

Did you cause that my dear child?

You stay silent but you know the answer is No

You didn't pick your precious flower over and over again until there was barley a pedal left on your beautiful stem.

“It’s my fault!"

Stop.

 "It's their fault for not saving me! For not being there!"

Stop.

“Why did he do it?! I didn't want this!"

Why? You may never know. It could be just because, or he's sick in the head and couldn't control his urges

 “I hate him! I hate what he's done to me! He's affected me so much! ...............It's his fault. It's his fault. It's his fault!"