To Be Completely Honest

I am going to be honest,

I hate you.

I hate the way you talked to me.

And because I hate you, I hate me.

I hate the way we used to be.

When we saw one another, we fought almost instantly.

You would call me names, and I was scared.

I would pull my hair out, and let the tears fall.

You would hurt me, and I would hurt me too.

I was most afraid of your fists.

They never did, but I always thought they would touch me.

But I'm going to be honest a second time,

I love you.

I miss your arms, your warmth around me.

I miss your scent, the smell of your body wash.

I miss your presence, your broad shoulders.

But what I miss most,

is your sweet, deep voice.

Sometimes you would be generous, and give me a complement.

And you would say it in that voice.

Oh god, that voice.

And that voice with the kisses you gave me...

I was happy then, thankful for you then.

And then you turned into some beast,

like my tears and lies you feasted on.

You burned like a fiery demon and screamed demonic

at me.

You, full on Devil, turned me into ash.

With your words you burned me down to the ground.

You paralyzed me, shook me around,

stomped on me with your hurtful words.

And then you were gone.

Disappeared.

You vanished, and as much as I hated you,

I wanted you back. I still do.

Now, I don't know if that's just the way I am,

but I know it's probably stupid to say that.

And since I'm being honest,

might as well apologize for the pain I've caused.