To be "Normal"
For most of my life I wanted to be like everyone else.
The want and need got so bad I let it consume me.
The idea of being able to be "normal" for a change
was all I wanted to be.
I always felt like an outsider,
someone that no one understood.
Like maybe I'm the "weird" kid
or that I could never be like "them"
But I let myself believe that I could.
I allowed opinions become the guide to my life
and my mind took over in the process.
"You'll be nothing more than this"
"There's no way you'll be "normal"
But what is normal?
Just why do "I" have to be it?
Can't I become my own form of normal?
Probably not,
I already know, I don't really have to give it a shot.
Cause I'll never be them
This is me, I should expect nothing more
But to be less than them
Maybe I'm crazy?
Do I sound crazy,
for believing the opinions of others?
For letting the maybes and what ifs pass me by?
For simply giving up on me?
I was once told that I was "unique"
Whatever that means
If by unique you me "one of a kind"
You're right
There isn't a kind like me
except for me
But look.
I don't wish to stay the same
I hate who I am
and only myself is to blame
a dark sky is my life
And I feel like it will never be clear
I can't wait for the day that it actually goes away
When I become who I wish I could be,
But it won't really be me
So by the end of my life my wish will come true
And whether you like it or not
me will no longer exist
and the person I become will be my truth