Beast

I always tell myself it is worth it

I always tell myself you will change

I always cry alone

I always beat myself up for not being "perfect"

Around you I am not allowed to get frustrated or have a short fuse

I am not allowed to have bad days 

I am not allowed to have depression 

When I am sick, you see it as an inconvenience

When you are sick, I should cater and be understanding

When I catch you being shady? 

It is somehow my fault

I am not pretty enough

I am not kind enough

I am not a beautiful slut

If you were to catch me being shady?

I'm gone.

You tell me it’s not appropriate when I raise my voice or don’t listen

Yet its ok for you to yell and scream 

I tell you I love you

You call me bitch

I close the door and hide

You slam the door and dry wall

Yet when I tell you to cool off

Let’s discuss this at a later time

It’s not good enough

You rage

You yell

You become a completely different person 

You are a monster

Beauty and the beast has a happy ending

But you are only prince charming when you want to be

I am locked up

I have rules I have to follow

If I even breath wrong 

Or act human and not as a doll

I suffer

Unlike a fairy tale, you will never change

Unlike a fairy tale, I don’t win

I stay locked up in your castle 

And am only allowed the light of day when you say

I dream of the day when you will see

Me

When will you look past?

The Fat

The hair

When will you see?

My kindness

My consideration

My humor

When will you see that even my anger?

Is a charm in itself?

It takes a lot of patience to put up with being called names

Being controlled

Not being appreciated

I am so much more then you will ever see me as

I fear that you will never try too either

But in the end

If you don’t choose to see

Me

I will have to see myself

All the way out

Of your front door