Beauitful Denial

I don’t know if I still want to be a wife

I have seen the way that caged my life

My motivation was an almighty tower

then turned to a dead flower

my self-esteem no better

though I thought I was clever

I told myself each day a lie

I wondered why I would cry

I learned I brought you shame

My anxiety is what I tried to tame

I isolated myself because of my fears

Yet they weren’t more than my tears

I am the only one to blame

For putting lies in a beautiful frame

Everyone heard I was blind

Negativity targeted a heart that was kind

Forgiveness I have given to many

Especially those who didn’t deserve a penny

Strength starts to diminish

But doesn’t completely finish

I have had time to think

And let deep thoughts sink

Truly I have not been happy

That truth my husband refused to see

This love has given to light

the lessons of life.