beautiful

such an ugly word

full of lies

the word that's misguided millions

caress my face and call me it

over

and over

and over

and over

and over

and over

and over

and over

and over

and over

and over

and over

and over

until STOP.

it's a lie

you're ugly

it's a lie

you're a monster

i was no longer beautiful

you started saying it less when i was fully clothed

you replaced it with other words

like the word "beautiful" is interchangeable with any other in the dictionary

like any other word would make my heart pound with the same intensity

like i didn't look the same in your eyes

like i wasn't your lover, but a toy

i was no longer beautiful

"how do i look?"

i would display my outfit for you

new shoes, new hoodie, new earrings

but the jeans weren't new

they don't hug my curves the way they used to

so the entire outfit wouldn't look good to you

i was no longer beautiful

whether i was on top or beneath you

whether my face was bare or was smothered in makeup

whether i was far away or up close

you were only after one thing

and it wasn't love anymore

you always needed more

more

more

more

all i would ask is to be called beautiful in return

but i guess i wasn't specific enough

because after i would make my request

you would never say it while looking at my face

and therefore, i came to the conclusion:

I am no longer beautiful.