Beautiful Disaster

Have you ever seen a beautiful man that is such a disaster? I have, he's a beautiful disaster, he's a hurricane and the resue crew all at the same time. At first glance, depending the day, you might dismiss him as a fool with no direction. He's surrounded by chaos and seems to call trouble his best friend. Other times you may see him as a bully, an addict, a smoothe talker, he most definitly a shit talk hard walker. Tough as steel with a heart of gold that's fragile as pure silver but more beautiful than a diamond. On the outside it looks like he doesn't give a fuck, but if you take a deeper look at this diamond in the rough, you'll see that he's protecting his heart, and life made him tough. He's trapped in hell with a disease that he fights eveyday to kick, but still finds beauty in the hell and ugliness that he has to see. He struggles and fights everyday so he can afford to live tomorrow. He may look lost, sometimes he might feel lost, but he is all but a lost cause. He refuses to feel sorry for himself, and he refuses to place blame for the life he has chosen to claim. It is all temporary, cause staying stuck forever is for the tired and weary. He's all but tired and week, trying to hold him hostage is something you shouldn't seek. He will rise, he will fall, but getting back up, he gives it his all. One day, he says, I'll get this shit right, he smirks to himself, because crying and feeling sorry for yoursself is bad for your health. To overlook him, or dismiss him is a mistake, cause you could miss out on all the blessings for you he will make. He can inspire you, to try again tomorrow, cause it's a new day. Another chance to try again, doesn't matter if you succeed or not, if you try and give it all you got. That's how he see's it, he loves who he is, and has every right to feel like this, cause the hell he's been through, the pain he's known, and the demons that haunt him can't seem to force him to claim this hell as his home. He won't let it beat him, he refuses to hang his head in shame, because in his heart, he knows happiness, success, and love is all his to claim. For now this is where he stays, fighting his demons, addictions, and trying his best to clean this closet, blessing everyone he can along the way, even if he knows they have no way to repay. He doesn't care, he is there, he knows how it feels to be ignored and have no one to believe in you. He knows what it feels like to be passed by and underestimated, to be hungry, sick, and sleep in a ditch, so to just walk past someone suffering is something that you'll never see him do. Because ruthless or smoothe as he may be, he's more generous than you could believe. He is a hero not a zero, and one day, you'll all see this beautiful disaster rise and his life, pain, addictions, and demons he will master.

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