A Beautiful Monster

This isn't something you ask for, This wasn't something I chose For the monster that tricked me, Was as alluring as a rose. I didn't realize my portions, Began to drastically shrink, Or how my weight plummeted, And my belt needed one less link. I didn't see in the mirror, A devil in disguise, All I saw was beauty, A beauty comprised of lies. Nor did I notice my seclusion, Or the dizziness in my head, I forgot what living was, For I was dormant like the dead. My stomach complained of emptiness, My heart murmured attack, My body screamed of death, While under my eyes and nails became black. One day I was walking, Down a hallway at school, My chest felt like it was caving, And I couldn’t keep my lungs full. When I got home that Monday, Endlessly I tried to keep warm, Yet I couldn’t breathe, I felt like I was emaciating in a snow storm. With desperation I looked at momma, I wanted to say, “This is the end”, I felt my heartbeat fading, My strength could no further descend. My momma looked at her baby, A lady whose young years she missed, And saw that in a short while, Death I would soon kiss. At last she told me bleakly, With eyes so sad and blue, “Baby please understand, I am going to let them keep you.” The nurse took my vitals, My pulse was a slow twenty-eight, My ICU room was 3225, My life lay in the hands of fate. Eleven days I spent in that bed, For two measly days I was out, Then I lived in Legacy, Where I learned what recovery was about. In the slowest forever, Over with was my residential stay, Admittedly I faced relapse, But I stand tall today. My recovery was not easy, Because that is not how war goes, But I finally feel alive again, With a future brighter than anyone knows. Sometimes I may struggle, But I know I can get through, For I am strong and beautiful, And that’s why the monster growled, “I choose you.”