Beautiful Struggle

A daily fight to win

But steady being knocked back 5 steps

It tops down to were I wanna go to

Hell or heaven

I'm trying to find that light that's in my dark

But it just keeps gettin hard

Smiles around me

They Never worked for anything in life

I never had anything handed to me

I guess God given me this life

So it's set to be

This is not a free verse it's just me ranting

See I know we're supposed to love ours

But how can I if I don't have shit

I keep seeing my mom cry

Kids that can't stay in their lane

A step dad that seems to not have changed

But like he sang on my papas death bed

I won't complain

It just fills me with anger

Is there really a God?

Because of if there is he hasn't heard my prayers

Or my weary eyes just haven't translated yet

I've been generous kind honest

Weres my big house my car my offers

I guess it doesn't come to all the kids that come from the jungle

I'm pissed off for greatness

We're will my faint end?

One of these days I'm gonna make it

That's a promise

I'll take what's mines

I'm ready to put in the work and the time

Please god just give me signs

Please don't leave me on the bottom

And put me aside

I'm a craft that hasn't been finished

My life is a killing

I wouldn't put this on my worst enemy

Please God just listen to these cries I wep

Sometimes I don't know what I'm grindin for

With my minds eye I'll find a way

I always realized someone has it worse

Live life to the fullest

Because someone out there is living were it hurts

Challenging my state of mind

To do we I gotta do to sense the urge of time

GRIND! GRIND! GRIND!

Ring in my head

Is it a sin to do what feels the best?

To do what you love but also causes stress?

The feeling that you won't make it which causes you to not sleep at night but think about your life and what it can be if you lived the “American life”?

Not to love yours but to fight for yours and take so much more

Take the knowledge the fight the intellect the heart the carefulness the awareness and shove it down your minds eye

And let no one clearly understand because they couldn't

Not saying I'm more then a man

I'm just that saying “a kid with the mind of his own”

I don't follow I lead

And my friends they don't follow they lead

Were just one family

My life if I make it may just be a movie

Because what I've seen and been through

Isn't really what most these kids can think

This also isn't a rhyme scheme it's just me ranting

Imagine me in your mind can you see?

Me chasing after that goal

That little peck of light in my dark

Watch my eyes as they start to spark

As I'm in the NFL

In the huddle

And when you ask me about that tattoo on me

I'll tell you to read this poem about my beautiful struggle