“I’m so proud you’re my sister,”
“because you’re so beautiful!”
His compliment attacked my stomach,
And the butterflies came swarming.
Through years of perfecting eyeliner wings,
Learning the particular angle of my head,
The perfect pout for a selfie.
Discovering clothes that compliment a figure
Trying to hide its never-ending flaws.
Am I beautiful when I’m lazy?
At home in sweatpants (for an excessive amount of time)
And red-rimmed eyes from staring at the computer for too long.
Does he see my beauty when my face is swollen?
To overwhelmed by the tears my body can’t stop forming,
From the panic attacks that leave me crawling on the floor,
Begging for this feeling to go away.
Or does he see my beauty as something more?
Maybe my quick sympathy
Or intense drive to succeed.
Perhaps the beauty is shared in laughter,
With each childhood giggle creating the most perfect bond.
Every whispered secret under our homemade forts,
Forming an unbreakable sibling love.
The clear image of each other,
Even through the heartbreaking tears,
And vicious screams,