Because

19 years.

19 years she went without hearing the words, “Because I love you.”

Don’t be mistaken she knew that she was loved, her family never let her forget it.

Every time she left the room or hung up the phone or was just sitting around with nothing better to do, she heard “I Love you”.

It was the “Because” that she was missing. “Because” I love you. That was a sentence she had never experienced before. A few words that she felt held a new sense that she had never known.

When someone says “I love you” it can mean so many things. It could mean so much and yet so little. It could mean “goodbye see you later,” or “I really care about you,” or “I want to get you into bed with saying as few words as possible, and I think this will do the trick.” After a while it seems to just become a filler, something you say when you can’t seem to think of anything else. One doesn’t want to put in the effort to try and find the words to depict what they’re really feeling, no matter if what they’re feeling is something substantial or something rather ordinary. She was amazed at how “I love you”, had somehow been stripped down to become a default.

Then there is “Because”.

The “Because” at the start of that age-old phrase gives reason, intent, purpose. It is a simple word that she knows has the ability to drive the rest of the sentence into an entirely new context.

“Why are you doing this?”

“How can I be sure?”

“Why should I?”

“What could possibly make you want to give that up for me.”

“We must be crazy, give me one good reason as to why any of this makes sense.”

All have the opportunity to be resolved with the “Because.”

“Because I love you.”

The answer to some questions where simply no other answer will do. The words that can turn from “just for now” into “the rest of my life” The reason behind knowing beyond any doubt that this world can bring another person who will continually be there for you. For all stages of you.

But she knew these words put together can still do so much damage. In the wrong hands it can rewrite the chapters within someone’s life. An innocent heart who wants nothing more than to hear those words. Who would do anything to hear them. A heart that would inevitably become open and vulnerable towards whoever it may be who says them, regardless of how much truth lay behind them. And before they even realize all of their walls had been broken down to nothing, they realize why they were built up so high in the first place.

“Because I love you” should not be used to end an argument. But rather to bring up the most valuable point.

“Because I love you” should not be the reason to keep a secret, but rather be the reason you want to share your something with the world.

“Because I love you” should not be the soul foundation of the life a person leads if they have nothing else to hold onto. It should enhance their quality of the life they already have.

“Because I love you” should not be the answer when asked of someone who is uncertain about why they should get into bed. It should be the answer a significant gives their other when asked why they made them breakfast in bed.

As her mind raced with the thought of “Because,”

She wonders if any of this is even true.

Having experienced none of this herself, she doubts her own authority to be thinking this way.

Maybe nobody else thinks this way.

Maybe “Because” is just two syllables thrown together that can propel any sentence into a new context if a person wants it bad enough. Maybe the world doesn’t work like that. Maybe we’re doomed to a life full of half-assed words and meaningless gestures; and that the only way to know if what one feels is real, or even worth the trouble, is to be committed for as long as it takes for one to not be able to turn back on it. Maybe it’s her inexperience bringing her to the naïve conclusion that words can eventually be trusted for their face value. Maybe betrayal by “Because” is simply a rite of passage, and there’s nothing that she can do about it.

As these thoughts of hers brings her to realize her worst fear,

She continues to ponder the possibilities of “Because.”

And she wonders if she’ll ever be able to stop.