I am strong-
I mutter this chant incessantly through my head and
I wonder now if I will ever be able to bear the burden of my own brokenness.
The walls that I have built around my calloused heart are high
too high for me to even see
miles, an infinity of stone and
if you were to ever reach the top it would
be laced with barbed wire and signs that said
beware because she does not know even the things she pretends to, so
when I saw you...
a seemingly familiar beating resounded through
the cavern of my ribcage and
it’s not as much a stranger
as it is a really old friend that
I no longer know how to greet.
my hands are tingling and
you don’t even waste the second it takes
to say my name
don’t understand the
earth shattering, soul shaking renovations that are
happening inside of me
every time your eyes meet mine a block of icy stone comes
raining down and
instead of searching the barricade
for a way in,
you pace around and
pick up the crumbling pieces,
wondering why there is trash in your path.