Because I love myself more

Because we loved one another we seemed happy,

Because we loved one another we exsisted in a blissful,beautiful,bubble,

Inpenitrable from the outside but nefariously toxic on the inside.

Because we loved one another we were attached at the hip, 

Because we loved one another there was trust, 

unspeakable trust, 

Because when you always told me what is real is understood,

and what is understood did not have to be explained,

I believed you, and I should not have...

Which is why when you began to demand explnations I was dumbfounded.

Where was I?

Why wasn't I answering your calls?

Why would I not tell you I had to stay late after class?

Why didn't I explain myself...

I was under the impression that what is real is understood ,

and what is undestood doesn't not have to be explained,

Strike one,

This isn't real.

Because I loved you I answered every call,

every question,

every accusation you cast upon me I meet with a level head,

Because I loved you, I was determined to not let the ghost of your insecurities break us apart,

Because I always believed nothing real could ever be threatened,

I kept my chin up,

My head strong,

and my skin thick to your accusations,

Because we both knew that's all they were, allligations, of an angry person,

So you threatened to look for my lovers,

Chin up,

You theatened to leave me, 

Headstrong,

You theratened to expose my most vulnerable parts to everyone,

Skin thick,

But when you posed a threat to my safety I couldn't remain strong.

I was under the impression that nothing real could ever be threatened,

Strike two,

This isn't real.

Because I loved you I made excuses ,

Because I loved you I blamed myself,

Because I was blind I thought it was just a phase,

Because I cared I hid the sadness from my friends,

Because I thought it was real I made plans to stick it out,

But one day I cracked, 

and I left.

Because as much as we loved eachother, and as much as I loved you,

I was not prepared to strike out for our cause ,

Because  I loved myself more.