BECAUSE I LOVE YOU
Because I love you…
You don’t love yourself.
I’ve never learned the proper ways to love myself
And because of that
I dot it to you.
The first people in my life who made me out of “love”
Told me the same things.
Because I love you…
I will hit you more times I’ve hugged you
Told you I loved you.
Told you I'm proud.
Or
That I’m happy I got you.
I will vanish from your life
Making you think everything's your fault
When it's mine.
My parents never taught me love
Why should I give it to you
When you can give me your body instead
And I’ll replace
Love with lust.
To point you think you're in love with me.
But because I love you,
You're in love with a monster
A monster so weak
They yell at you
Degrade you
Abuse you.
But because you love me
To point of being brainwashed
You will never leave
Like I never left
My abusers.
And because I don’t love myself
You will never know
That I AM the weak one.
I know you don’t love me
Because you don’t love yourself.
I never noticed in the beginning
But it's over.
You don’t need to lie and me you love me.
How could you love me
When you never
Cherished me
Accepted me
Accepted yourself
Thought you were what I needed to live
I had the constant feeling
Of insecurity
Self-hatred
And loneliness
Nothing is far more damaging than being with someone
But still feeling alone.
Because of you I felt cold
I felt that the only way I could love someone is damage them.
Like you damaged me.
I stepped back. I listen to the redflags
You wouldn’t communicate
You gave me the cold shoulder
That I took for so long.
Until one day I woke up.
I figure out that this situation I was in
Wasn’t my fault.
I realized my self-worth.
I realized I am beautiful.
Strong
And no one not
Even
You
Can take that away from me.
And I realized…
Because I don’t love you anymore
I love myself instead.
And that just like everyone else deserves to be cherished
So do I.
I deserve someone
Who will love me mentally and physically.
I realized
Love is a relationship
It's never one-sided.
Nor you or anyone else will tell me what I deserve anymore.
I know what I deserve and it is far more than being simply loved.
I need to be
Motivated
To be the best I can be
Happy
To cherish the good times and understand why the bad times happen.
To me that is the healthy relationship,
And if anyone tries to take that away.
Their going to have to fight fot it.