Because I Love You

Coming home late

Two hours passed dinner

Full from the meat loaf i ate

Time ticks by…

One.. two.. three

I hear your car alarm and the lock click

Not knowing what i should ask first

“Where have you been?”

“Long night at work”

Though i know that is not true

The smell of Burberry coming off of you makes me sick

But i didn't want to be condescending

So i didn't ask any further questions

“I made meatloaf. It's a bit cold but i can heat it up”

Is what i hear coming out of my mouth

With a warm plate of food in my hand

I serve it to you but i get no thank you

Not even a kiss as it used to be

Heading my way to bed i hear

“I am too tired to deal with your attitude today”

“What attitude?” i reply

No matter how much i try to not show it

Fear runs deep through my bones

I don't want to fight today

“I'm sorry, i am going to bed goodnight.”

I lay on my side with the blanket over my shoulder

It is dark and you are on the other side of the bed

In deep thought i wonder

What happened to us? What went wrong? Is it my fault?

No, nothing went wrong

You just lost interest

We stopped communicating the moment you saw her

I don't blame you i'm not as pretty as i used to be

But because i love you i ignored the signs

And trusted the lies you fed me

I expected the the truth to roll out of you

Is honesty to much to ask for?

When you walk in the door your eyes show anger

Anger from having to come back to your wife

Every now and then you glanced at me in disappointment

But because i love you i let those glances slide

Even though they left scars deeper than anything else...

I refuse it

I refuse to keep putting myself down for YOUR wrong doings

I refuse to keep the excuse of “because i love you”

Because it is making me unhappy

There is suppose to be compassion towards his each other

Respect as if we were prizes that we can lose at anytime

Trust each other to help or work through things but

Most importantly communicate

I've read romantic novels with

Mr. Darcy constantly reminding Elizabeth he loves her

Jay Gatsby daydreaming of the moment he can hold daisy again

And Edward Cullen doing everything in his power to protect Bella

Then there is you, a liar and an uncompassionate man.

I trusted you with my life and now i am taking it back

I turn the lamp on by my bedside

The sheets no longer keeps me warm

My feet pound against the floor feeling the soft carpet under me

A duffel bag will do for tonight

I give myself no time to fold

I throw everything in before i say “because i love you”

“Goodbye” is all i can say

You don't say a thing but give me a nod

A nod of mutual agreement

No hard feelings

Next time i find love there will be no “because”

Only “I Love you”