Because I love you

"Because I love you" was not an excuse  

"Because I love you" was a twisted game to change my definition of happiness 

I was young  

You promised to teach me new ways to smile but you said my name in a condescending way  

You walked me home though you didn't hold my hand 

You found new ways to look at me while looking through me 

You held my heart in a tormenting way that left unwanted marks 

You had the audacity to break something that you tricked me into handing you  

Then you whispered that you loved me 

But that's not what love is 

Love is the way he looks at me the way you never did 

Love is how I don't feel sick every time he touches me 

Love is the complete trust I could never give you 

You don’t treat love like a captive  

That was your truth 

In your sick mind that was love 

But you didn't just love me in a toxic way  

You loved them too 

"Because I love you" became your reason for making sure no one else loved me 

"Because I love you" is why I couldn’t love anyone else 

I found out I was strong 

And that scared you  

Because you needed me  

So that you wouldn't feel weak anymore 

"Because I love you" became a nightmare that I was living 

"Because I love you" taught me how not to love  

"Because I love you" is how I know that I love him