Because I Love You Scholarship
Buzz Buzz
I check my phone
"What are you doing"
My heart skips a beat.
So I slip my phone into my back jean pocket
Buzz Buzz
I check my phone
"Why didn't you answer"
A gentle frown covers my face. I retreat
into myself.
How do I tell someone I care for - I love - to stop caring? How do I tell someone to stop
loving me?
A month ago, this was all I wished for; how can I breathe in my wish again?
He's my Sun. I'm his Star. How do I tell the earth to stop moving around the sun, a star to stop moving around the earth?
I breathe out. Is this what it feels like to love someone?
I should stay strong - I've never felt this before, how should I know what not to feel? Shouldn't it feel
wrong? Do I even know what it means to feel right? Isn't this right?
Buzz Buzz
"Answer."
I breathe in. I breathe out.
When we fought, I broke down. When you told me I wasn't enough, my body curled into my mind
outside of myself,
of the world.
But nothing, nothing, can burn up my stomach into my throat as much as when I don't have you.
Nothing except for the self-deprication I am putting myself through
the constant battle
the constant hate
that I feel when I step outside of my mind
and see myself put up with you.