Because I Loved You

It is because I loved you

That I ignored that look in your eye

That look as I took a bite of my food

I ignored your judging eyes

Because I loved you.

And I thought that was what love was

I ignored the pleading voices running through my mind

Because I loved you.

I ignored my friends as they told me you were no good

And I fought with my parents when they forbade me from you

Because I loved you 

And I couldn't bear being separated from you.

I saw those looks you gave me

As I took off in a run

Or even sat down

Because I loved you

And I thought you were just keeping an eye on me.

I ignored the way you cringed when you hugged me tightly

Or how you whispered,

"Should you really be eating that?"

Because I loved you

I thought you loved me too.

You told me these things and I thought you cared about me

But because I loved you 

I thought

You would never hurt me

Nor would you ever torment me. 

Yet as I began shedding

Your comments and looks disappeared

And love was found in your eyes

A look that I thrived for

As my parents became worried

And my friends tried to force me to eat

I longed for that look

Because I loved you

And I wanted you to love me.

But why couldn't you love me for me? 

Because you didn't

You loved me for the way I bowed down to you

The way I submitted 

As though you were a God

My God. 

You allowed me to shed

Because you loved the way it made you feel.

And because I loved you

I let you feel that way

As I ignored my health 

And became your puppet.

And it is because I loved you 

That I write this now

Because that was not love

That was a weak boy tormenting a girl

All because she loved him.

And because you're not my God.