Because I Loved You
It is because I loved you
That I ignored that look in your eye
That look as I took a bite of my food
I ignored your judging eyes
Because I loved you.
And I thought that was what love was
I ignored the pleading voices running through my mind
Because I loved you.
I ignored my friends as they told me you were no good
And I fought with my parents when they forbade me from you
Because I loved you
And I couldn't bear being separated from you.
I saw those looks you gave me
As I took off in a run
Or even sat down
Because I loved you
And I thought you were just keeping an eye on me.
I ignored the way you cringed when you hugged me tightly
Or how you whispered,
"Should you really be eating that?"
Because I loved you
I thought you loved me too.
You told me these things and I thought you cared about me
But because I loved you
I thought
You would never hurt me
Nor would you ever torment me.
Yet as I began shedding
Your comments and looks disappeared
And love was found in your eyes
A look that I thrived for
As my parents became worried
And my friends tried to force me to eat
I longed for that look
Because I loved you
And I wanted you to love me.
But why couldn't you love me for me?
Because you didn't
You loved me for the way I bowed down to you
The way I submitted
As though you were a God
My God.
You allowed me to shed
Because you loved the way it made you feel.
And because I loved you
I let you feel that way
As I ignored my health
And became your puppet.
And it is because I loved you
That I write this now
Because that was not love
That was a weak boy tormenting a girl
All because she loved him.
And because you're not my God.