#Because I Love(ed) You

You told me I was special. I believed it. You whispered I was worth it. I laughed at the thought of it. You taught me that love was rushing through the halls just to get a glimpse of you. What you didn't tell me was that you would change this way. It took me by surprise. How did you change all of a sudden? "Because I love you I would never hurt you". Changed real fast. But, because I loved you, I decided not to hurt you. Because I loved you I looked passed all that, because I saw how much you needed me. Because I loved you, I learned to take it. Because I loved you, I continued to forgive you. Because I loved you, I knew I was okay. No. I thought I was. So I decided to ignore the handprints that were left behind. More specifically the handprints that YOU left behind. Because I loved you, I resisted the urgue to ask for help. I resisted this help to protect you. You said you loved me. But that was not love. If that was your explanation of love, I DON'T want it. I'm tired if hiding the tears. I'm tired of feeling oppressed. This manipulation is killing me. Both mentally and physically. I don't smile knowing I will see you anymore. When water flows down these purple-blue marks, my knees drop to the ground. I hate looking at my arms, because of you. I can't wear what I used to. You judge me for everything I do. "I'm not good enough anymore, am I?" Is what I used to think. But, because I love myself, I raise my head. My eyes will never again have the need to search for those bruises. Because I love myself, I have found someone better. Someone who won't bring me down. Someone who knows my value. This person is no longer you. It is me. I don't want to hear the word CONTROL anymore. So you will no longer tell ME it. Because now I love myself.