Because I'm Worth It

"I love you."
He says it as his hand slides up my thigh

His teeth are stained yellow from tobacco and his breathe smells like lies

Love is hidden underneath my skirt, I suppose.

"I love you."

He says it as his hands are wrapped around my throat

His sweat smells like power and my eyes spill liquid fear

Love is hidden in the bruises, I suppose.

"I love you."

My phone vibrates with a new text message every minute

The buzz sounds like control and his temper feels like a ticking timebomb

Love is hidden in the constant tracking and checking in, I suppose.

"I love you."

He says it while he holds my hand softly

He smells like a forest full of promise

I shrink away in fear and tell him nothing good has ever come out of the phrase--

"I love you."

His lips touch mine tenderly after I've given him permission

His hands wrap around my waist gingerly, as if he's afraid to break me if he holds too tight

My phone buzzes once to ask if I got home safely and so that he can say--

"I love you."

I'm less afraid of those three words now

He feels like comfort. He feels like home

Love is prominent in the safety he provides, I know

I ask him why he's so kind and

his answer is so simple my eyes well with tears

"Because I love you."