I'm broken up here 

she pointed to her temple 

because I'm broken down here

She laid her hand on her left breast 

I felt my mouth sag into a frown

and interrupted my feelings by saying

your heart isn't there and started to place my hand on my chest feeling for a beat

I found my heart and it was racing. Immediately my mind pictured runners lined up at the start line

and running off. And the beat of their feet hitting the pavement matching my heart. 

Her words echoed in my head

She was broken. Because of me.

Because of me she was broken 

my words 

my actions

my emotions

caused her to be broken 

it didn't matter to me anything else that she has spoken about that made her broken before or after me. 

All that concerned me was that at one point she became broken because of me.

My name will not be woven into her heart by love but scarred into her mind by pain. 

She was cautious, paranoid, anxious, and afraid to love because of me. 

Is she afraid to love me? 

I let my hand drop to my side again as I walked beside her.

I looked up and she was smiling. 

"Why the smile?" I asked. "Because of you" she replied.