Because of you

From now on, If a man looks longer than two seconds

I will get uncomfortable.

Will Become paranoid when men stand too close

drunk or not

a touch still creates scars

You were sober enough to apologize

because of you a man is always like a tattoo gun

painful, leaving behind images i cant erase.

You need to remember that night,

because I’m what you left yourself on.

When you forced  frosted hands up my shirt,

gripped my side, I pushed away

But you squeezed  my shoulder

so hard I choked.

Your whispers feel like roaches crawling in my ear.

Told me the more I moved the worst it’ll be.

I tried to scream but I began to hyperventilate.

Your python grip tightened around my waist

You kissed me on the neck

my eyes watered like a busted pipe

as you unbuttoned my jeans.

You grazed my thigh,

you took every bit of courage i had

I laid there, daunted

but still began t scream

you cover my mouth with muscular hands.

I bit deep into them

you let go, I ran you block the door with your body

I wouldn't dare go near you again

Now I sit on your leather couch and rock back and forth.

the walls are colliding

I call  mom and dad all ring no answer.

I cant eat, talk or walk

because of you.

sober enough to come and apologize to me,

but because of you,

a man will always be a tattoo gun,

painful,leaving behind images i cant erase

every second he gets to taunt me he takes.

silently laughing and smiling at my mesery

every knows what he did but no one wanted to help

every word that i said was a lie.

your own flesh and blood doesnt want to protect you.

all i could do was press my face in the pillows at night and take it

so many questions, why did it happen to me

where’s god when you need him

and the lord almighty could even respond to me

im the one who has to deal with these reaccuring dreams

watching what he did to me

its my fate to be uncomfortable around men

become paranoid when they stand too close

this   is because of you.