Because of You

Because of you I'm scared for life

Because of you I'm scarred for life

Because of you I'm afraid to trust my best friends...

No, because of you I'm terrified at the thought of even thinking that someone would have my back and support me 

Because of you, I'm lost

Because of you I second guess everything

Because of you I cry for no reason at all

Because of you I'm just an empty shell trying to fill the void with whatever I can

Because of you I resent everyone especially the man who you used to call your husband, the man who I call my father

Because of you I can't accept anything without thinking that it's all just a lie 

Because of you I can't trust anyone, that's what you taught me

You also taught me that I will never be what anyone says I am or what they want me to be

Because of you I can't look in the mirror and say that I like what I see no matter how much I want to

Because of you if someone hits me I feel that I deserve that and so much more

Because of you.... I'm not who I used to be

Because of you I will never be the happy, fun loving girl I used to be

Because of you I'm a ticking time bomb 

Because of you I've beuilt up walls that no one can breach and if I do let someone in and they see the truth, they leave

Because of you I don't know what to do

Because of you I'm afraid to live

Because of you I'm afraid to love

Because of you have so many conflicting emotions and thoughts in the sea of my brain that I'm drowning

Because of you I don't know if what you did was actually wrong anymore

Were you right to hit me for no reason? Were you right to starve me? Were you right to hate me for only God knows why?

Maybe so, I'll never know. Maybe I deserve everything you did to me

Maybe I'm exactly the failure you said that I would be....

Everything I feel, fear, second guess, hate in myself

Because of you I'm crying while writing this 

And it's all because of you

All beacuse of you, I'm a broken little girl in the corner that no one knows what to do with

Because of you I'm broken beyond repair and too afraid to let peoplr help me to heal, if I ever can be healed 

Because of you I'm nothing..... 

Nothing but an empty shell with a smile and a beautiful past turned dark....

All because of you 

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Grant-Grey Porter Hawk Guda

Powerful expression. Always let poetry fill your life. 

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