#becauseiloveyou

Because I love you I turned a blind eye to the cruelty. I looked down when walking past because, well, I loved you. I cried alone at night thinking about the things you said to me. My body twitched as the words screamed back at me and I thought about where your hands were. I loved everything about you. The rough and worn hands, even as I felt them oh so unkindly against me. I loved the way your lips curled at the corners of your mouth, even as they let the harsh words slip. They seemed to echo forever. I thought that was love. Love is fear. Love is letting you do whatever you want becuase I wanted you to be happy. Because I loved you, I tried to kill myself so you could be happy again. Because I loved you, I locked myself away. Because I loved you, I can't be touched again. Because I loved you, I'm fragile. I'm incapable of love, because I loved you. Because I loved you, everything about me changed. Now? Because I love myself, I hold my head high when walking down the street. Because I love myself, I learned to defend myself. Because I love myself, no one will ever lay a hand on me again. Because I love myself, I've gotten help to repair all the breaks you created in who I am. Because I love myself, I'm forever going to be a survivor. Because I love myself,  I now know what love truly is.