Bed Side

Laying on the bed side. The air around me becomes thinner. Awake. Conscious. Conscious of current time and space, but my mind cannot abandon me. When I sit and stare into my zone of nothingness, I see very clearly although my vision in the matrix is blurred. Flashed before me, I sit at the dinner table as my father teaches the "12:00" rule in front of my plate so my cup doesnt spill. Searching for the white Jeep my mother sat in when campus bells were done. I fell on the playground, scratched my knee, then given a band aid by the teacher. Wearing beanies and baggy hoodies which I swore to the life of me was an iconic duo. Simple memories that no one else could share. My down points... Crys from the overwhelmed. Tears of Sadness as I'm not aware of becoming a lost soul. Experience up and downs with a warm smile that reveals the me I wish not to hide. Simple memories. My desk filled with literature, math, and books of all sorts towering over my head (which fell on the ground) to cover the school floors I walked everyday. Still staring into nothingness but yet I see everything. Oh so clear! The balance of the clips with shared meaning and Scenes with not much any but to form the final edit. Nothingness but nothing has faded...yet Not being aware of my advantages How my body unapologetically allows my lungs to fill, my heart to beat, my blood to flow, and my brain to show me what I shoulda if I could. I tie my flower painted Vans and wish for the mark of my shoe burn, torched, and imprinted on the concrete. As I reach for the hands of man, My touch allows for my eyes to gaze upon smiles. My laugh allows for inspiration not for my own. My guidance allows for admiration. My help allows hands from my... once called hand... once called muscle to fade to bone makes for a helping hand after the mark imprinted from me slowly fades but never vanish to non existence. Gazing up from the nothingness as my mind will say "cut" after the "action". Laying on the bed side came to me, As the weakness made me fuzzier and the fuzzier made me dizzy and the peaceful sleep-like faint causes the final credits of the movie. The purpose of mine, granted to not just me but those before and after. For inspiration, I pray the words spoken of me, "Living to impact" So my Purpose and Worth, Immortal. Exist as I no more.