Before

Every Easter, (sorry every American Easter)

I would get in a car and sit there for 4 hours

We would leave really early, before the sun comes up

And drive and drive and drive until we got to the next state over

It felt like I was sitting in the car for years

Though I slept most of the time and I was very young

I still remember getting out of the car and you coming outside and looking so happy to see us

But that was before you got sick

We would spend all of Easter day together with the family

You had set up an Easter egg hunt for all of us kids

And I was in an outfit that dad had picked out (he was so proud of himself)

A pink shirt and a green skirt with matching shoes

I remember you used to fill the eggs with coins instead of candy

But that was before you got sick

I vividly remember standing in the tiny living room with no place to move

Too much furniture and decor and too little space for it all

11 cats was also a bit much but you loved them all

Well maybe Feister and Spirit a little more than the others

You had a waterbed in your room that was my favorite to nap on

I had to make sure the cats didn’t get on it or else it would pop

But that was before you got sick

As I got older we stopped seeing you for Easter

You and dad got in a fight and didn’t speak for years

We kept receiving porcelain dolls and other Native American trinkets though

You made sure we didn’t forget our heritage

But that was before you got sick

You stopped sending gifts

You stopped calling

Dad got worried

I remember him so angry and crying when you told him

As if there was something he could do to prevent it

There was no cure

He tried his hardest though

He researched for days

He called doctors all over the world to try to get you into experimental trials

Money was no object

He apologized so many times for not speaking to you for all those years

You forgave him

A call in the middle of the night

You were gone

Dad cried for days

We arrived at the funeral home to find you laying there so peacefully

As I sat there for hours mourning over you

Hundreds of people came through the door and introduced themselves to me

“Your grandma gave me a place to live when I had nowhere to go” they said

“She took me in as one of her own” another said

Why did I never know you did such amazing things?

Why were there so many things about you I wasn’t told?

Hundreds of people came to say goodbye because they knew you so personally

People said great things and beautiful things all day about you

Dad nodded politely as tears poured down his face

I give blood in hopes that maybe I’ll be able to save someone else’s loved one some day

That I’ll be able to help put a stop to this

Dad curses the world that you were taken from him

I still see him cry every so often

He used to be so happy and full of life

But that was before you got sick