The beginning

When you look at your arm, you will see veins under the tip of your skin. When you begin to trace those veins, you will see that there is a place for them all throughout your body. There is a route of another life traveling through you. Our veins hold us together, or at least they keep our blood in sync. That is why if we bust open our veins, we will consistently bleed and bleed and bleed. Our emotions are just the same. If one tragic event attacks our timeline and completely demolishes everything we ever stood for, then we will break and break and break. These events can be labeled as your first heartbreak, the first car crash, the first time you ever doubt your mother's love, being bullied, being proven wrong, etc. These tragic events can range from something so small to something so horribly big as in these moments you will never be the same. Either way, you are affected and you are changed. And you will begin to break, no matter how badly you try to fight it, no matter how high you set your ego, no matter how strong and empty that you have created yourself to be, I promise you, you will break. You will start to rethink everything. Why am I feeling this way ? Why am I being treated like this ? Why did this have to happen to me ? What did I do so wrong ? Why am I even existing ? These questions will suffocate you. They will leave you gasping for breath at two a.m once you're finally all alone inside of your head. Maybe you've been alone all along and now you're just starting to realize it. Soon you will stay in bed a little longer every morning. You won't talk to your friends like you used to. Soon you'll believe that real friends don't exist. This will lead to you spending more time alone with yourself. When you will discover that you're not a big fan of yourself as you thought. It will feel as if every black cloud is crashing onto your shoulders. It will feel like someone is holding a knife at your throat and whispering in your ear that with every move you make, you will get cut. You feel endlessly stuck in a pit of sadness. Your emotions will swallow you whole. Soon there will be nothing of you left except for the ash of the person you used to be. This is where a new you will be birthed. You're not going to get better overnight​. Your veins will not stich up in an hour. Its going to take time. You will wake up one morning a couple months down the road and the sun rise will be leaking through your window. You will roll out of bed with your tasteless tongue and your sticky hair because the light is calling your name. You open your window and even though it is nearly 40 degrees outside, you just stand there. Barefoot, wearing nothing but a long t shirt and your underwear​. You will allow the wind to whip into the crease of your hair and for the sun to set a golden fire along every inch of your pearl white skin. The fear will lift from your lungs as this shall be the first step to building a garden within your body. Because you are a precious flower. You will begin to blossom into the person that you were always meant to become. You are now bruised and your innocence has melted away. But you are matured and you understand that even the prettiest pictures start as blank, crumbled up paper with spilled ink. You are not healed completely and you won't be for a long time. But this is a step forward. This is a beginning. Your beginning. Take advantage of it.