the beginning to the end

The begining to the end began in the fifth grade

my friend taught me to clear my temple of everything bad

and good.  

My fingers became plungers excreting all of my food and feelings.

Little did we know, that her heart would jump off a cliff,

pulling her with it.

Little did she know she would not make it to see us graduate.

She wasn’t there for my twelfth birthday sleepover

or any that followed.

She wasn’t there, but It was.

It crushed my spirit and body day after day

They yelled. They whispered. They wondered.

Why would I do this to myself?

I wondered why too. It happened. It is still here.

Only with Him did I realize that I will always live with It.

But it was already the end of the beginning