Behind "I'm fine "

I almost said I was fine That's a lie in fact I said I was fine I said I was fine when those thoughts came back Said I was fine when my thoughts went haywire Said I was fine when I felt I was just existing But it was still another lie I became good at telling Not once or twice But every single day They say replying I'm fine can mean the absence of major problems Still I used that word to block remembering those major problems At times I would sleep to forget those thoughts But they came back immediately I lay in bed At least I had a bed So I'll say no major problems It was just those thoughts coming back When I closed my eyes the events replayed My thoughts began to race trying to surpass each other Then finally the tears would want to flow It became an every day event How I spend my day But I dare not open up I just lay in bed hoping God was there and was coming to save me Save me from my thoughts Save me from the lies of "I'm fine" But again I had food So what was the problem? Was I just ungrateful? Or did I just exaggerate those problems Here we go, another thing to think about Every laugh slowly vanished when I remembered I had problems I hoped to disappear everyday The thoughts were enough to make me want to run away Away from my problems? No silly They'll still follow you Then that's alright I'm fineee🤍