Behind the Mask

I don’t belong 

I’m out of place 

I look different 

People stare

Throwing judgement my way 

I can feel the darts of eyes in my back as I slump through the halls 

Im embarrassed to be myself 

I don’t fit in

I’m an outcast...

I decided to change. 

Blonde hair

Orange skin

Makeup caked on

Highheels and crop tops 

Desperate for attention from the opposite sex 

It’s the same thing every night 

Sitting in parking lots with friends

Kissing random strangers 

Pretending not to care

Hiding behind a fake mask 

But no more stares

Is it worth it? Should I keep it?

Not truly myself,

But happy to fit in.

Then I break

I come to realize people don’t know who I am

This isn’t me. 

This is a mask 

Who am I? 

I need to know 

I take off the mask 

Exposure and vulnerability make me insecure 

Staring at the clock, I wait for change to happen,

But nothing comes.

Slowly step by step, I figure it out

I transform

Short hair 

Natural skin

T-shirts and baggy pants 

I stand taller, and I shine brighter, 

A radiant beam glows in my eyes

I’m comfortable in my skin 

I don’t need to stare into a mirror anymore

Now I get the stares 

But I don’t care

I can finally breath

I’m myself and I’m free 

I don’t have to judge myself anymore

I’ve found the right crowd

It’s worth it to come out from behind the mask