Behind the Smile

My friends think I'm smart,

My school thinks I'm weird,

My church thinks I'm cool.

I'm none of that.

I was raised to always know enough to be considered smart. 

I was taught to always be different.

I was told to believe that nobody's normal.

They're right. 

Nobody truly is normal and I'm a prime example. 

I got my inspiration for a career in a video game. 

My best friends were my books.

Swimming became my security blanket.

I seem happy and excited, yet my passion has become dull. 

Since I understood what was expected from students, 

I lost any interest in what I used to.

We are not taught to be ourselves at all. 

If we truly were, then we would not really worry about grades or such.

I would pursue my passions with no care in the world. 

But that's not the case is it?

I hide behind my smile because I was taught to behave.

I can't be sad because people think I want attention when I do. 

I can't even admit I don't know something from fear of being ostracized.

I still push through, though.

Even when I want to go sleep and hide, I get out of bed and go.

My smile becomes a weapon to disarm anyone who makes me shrink down.

I can make it, I know I can.

Even though there are some obstacles, I will push through.

I have to.

We all do.